Category: Psychotherapy

What do “Gypsy Knots” have to do with perception?

Things are not always as they appear. The paint pony here at Horses and Healing has such an amazingly thick and long mane. He sometimes comes in from the field with his mane “plated”, as if someone had braided his hair. Wives tales indicate that this is a sign of gypsies marking a horse to steal it in the night. Folklore also implicates witches and faeries for various reasons. If you have ever witnessed what these “braids” look like you can most likely understand why our ancestors might believe humans were responsible. It seriously appears as if someone has been twisting and braiding the mane/tail of the horse. The truth lies in the fact that the wind and pasture mates are often responsible for this mess, and it really is a mess, when a horse is blessed with beautiful hair.

According to history, when these braids were discovered folks would pay extra attention to their horses. When a horse was found with “gypsy knots” in their mane or tail the owner might go into defensive mode to prevent loss. Knowing what you know now, can you imagine the energy expended and the anxiety provoked from such a discovery? What if our ancestors had reframed this experience as a natural occurrence?

I invite you to reflect on how this may apply to your everyday life or the life of someone that you love. There are times when we all may jump to conclusions about our experiences based on what we believe to be true. This often leads to stressing about about things that are out of our control and showing up in ways that keep us from exploring alternate realities. I’m sure you recall that our experiences and thoughts shape our behavior. How do we reframe the things in our life that we may not be seeing clearly and that are potentially not useful for us? It is possible to fact check our thoughts and reconsider what we may have previously held as “truths”, just as those who first realized how unlikely it was that gypsies were sneaking into pastures at night to practice mane braiding. Let’s work together to smooth out those “knots”.

What You Need to Know About the Importance of Nurturing

It was just a few days ago that we picked our first cucumber of the year at Walnut Hollow Farm.  We haven’t had much luck lately with cukes; squash bugs destroyed the plants 2 years ago and last year our spoiled hens found the ripening veggies quite tasty. It amazes me how excited I get about little things like this. As a child, toiling in my parent’s garden was a huge chore for me.  Now I Look forward to growing my favorite herbs, tomatos, eggplants, and other vegetables.  I share pictures on Instagram and report on growth progress and flowering to my husband.

It’s not just that home grown, organic foods taste better to me.  It’s more than that. It’s about nurturing.  Planting the seeds and watching the progress.  Sharing excitement and the bounty with friends. It’s part of what makes the summer months my favorite time of year.  I’m not an expert gardener by any means, but I learn something new every year.  It’s more about the experience for me.

Parenting requires a lot of nurturing and research shows that children who are nurtured are better equipped to take care of themselves as adults.  The National Resource Center for Community-Based Child Abuse Prevention has identified nurturing as one of the 5 protective factors that increase health and well-being in families.  According to a 2016 article written by the Michigan State University Extension, parents can nurture by practicing empathy, establishing routines, using positive touch, and keeping children safe from harm.  Getting children involved in taking care of animals and helping you in the flower or vegetable garden are good ways to be nurtured and teach nurturing skills.  That’s a win!

3 Keys to Happiness in Daily Life

It doesn’t take a whole new routine to instill a dose of happiness into your day—but it does take a little self awareness.

1. Be grateful for the good & the bad.

Research shows, grateful people are happy people. It’s also important to understand that happiness is not the absence of negative feelings. Gratitude is a focus on the present and appreciation for what we have now, rather than wanting more. Embracing gratitude, as a state of mind, can have a positive affect on all aspects of life including our happiness and overall satisfaction.

Up your mood by taking a moment daily to think of your world with gratitude. Start a gratitude journal or take a walk in nature paying attention to all the gifts around us. Think of a person that helps you on a daily or weekly basis – a spouse, parent, friend, pet, teacher, cleaner, or babysitter.

Quiz: How grateful are you? Take the Gratitude Quiz published by the Greater Good Science Center at UC Berkeley.

2. Flex your creativity muscles.

Do you have a passion or hobby? It doesn’t have to be a formal activity, simply engaging in creative thinking can enhance well-being by enhancing cognitive flexibility and problem-solving abilities. A recent study out of New Zealand, published in The Journal of Positive Psychology explains that creative activities can trigger an “upward spiral” of well-being.

“Practicing an art — no matter how well or badly — is a way to make your soul grow. So do it.” – Kurt Vonnegut.

Make some space in your day to create, even if it’s just for the sake of it. Try exploring unique textures or even natural and recycled materials to make something for your home or a friend. Looking for some tips on how to add more creativity into your daily life? Read this list of 101 creative habits to explore.

3. Get connected, Stay connected.

Being apart of something larger than yourself can help bring perspective as well as a sense of belonging. Scientific evidence strongly suggests that feeling like you belong and generally feel close to other people is a core psychological need; essential to feeling satisfied with your life. The pleasures of social life register in our brains much the same way physical pleasure does.

So take the time to nurture a friendship that is important to you. Make an extra effort to show you care, send a card, make a plan to have lunch, or give them a call and really listen to what they say. Smile and say hello to a stranger. Tell a story when someone asks how your day is going. Notice how you feel when you share something with someone new.

Struggling and need support? Join a support group and talk to others that can relate. Find your tribe: support.therapytribe.com – a free online support community brought to you by TherapyTribe.

TherapyTribe - Wellness Tracker Tip: Check out the wellness tracker. It’s a simple but powerful tool designed to help you remember the promises you make to yourself. As you complete wellness activities your tree will blossom, and so will you!

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